


Hyacinth

by JefferyHeyJeffery



Series: What Fools We've Been [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Ed doesnt know how do deal, Emotions, Feels, Hanahaki Disease, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, but neither did Roy so its cool, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 22:53:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JefferyHeyJeffery/pseuds/JefferyHeyJeffery
Summary: The hyacinth is a beautiful flower, commonly found in areas of moderate to humid climate. They can survive in mountains and deserts alike.It's a hardy breed.Despite their inherent fairness, the petals and buds are filled with poison.





	Hyacinth

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyo, so I know that this is "part two" of What Fools We've Been... but thats honestly just because I wrote this after Ulex. Both stories parallel, but they're from different perspectives, so if you're interested in Mr. Fuhrer's POV then you can check out Ulex ;3

It was late, nearing midnight, and yet Edward was still hard at work. 

He’s spent the past few months studying Alkahestry in Xing. Under the command of the new emperor Yao, he was able to gain unlimited access to ancient scrolls and texts. 

Hohenheim was responsible for both Alchemy and Alkahestry so it only seemed fitting to Ed that he unite the two. Bring them together in a way that was beneficial to everyone. 

That was the original plan at least. 

Keep helping as many as he could for as long as he could. 

But plans don’t last forever. 

The flowers came a week ago. Their onset was a swift one and Ed could not thank his isolated living quarters enough. Early in the morning, he woke up choking on thick petals. Bile rising as he drowned on flowers, his tired mind confused and uncomprehending of the situation he was in. 

Dark blue flowers were everywhere. It took him a solid hour to clean up. 

After that he was much more careful, he kept bags or pails by his side if he ever needed to cough and dispel flowers. He didn’t want to make another mess. He didn’t have time to make a mess. 

He has six short months to find some sort of cure for this. 

So he burned the midnight oil, tired eyes blurring at the edges, so he drank a pot of coffee, then another. He didn’t have time for sleep. He just didn’t. 

 

The flowers were called hyacinths. 

They were lovely and a brilliant deep blue. 

At another moment in time Ed might have found them beautiful but instead, they were terrifying. 

Hyacinths are toxic. Containing oxalic acid that would eat away at his lungs so long as he did nothing about them. 

Cyanosis. Pulmonary edema. Cardiac dysrhythmia. 

All eventual symptoms of a slow poison working its way through his system. Symptoms that would prove fatal far before he suffocated. 

He now reckoned that he had four months instead of the average six. It was scary, but he knew what was on the other side. He knew who waited for him on the other side. That much comforted him. 

But he wasn’t about to go without a fight.

 

Ed would have liked to say that the flowers were a total surprise. That he was shocked by their arrival and that he didn’t know that he loved that bastard so much. 

The surprise was that they didn’t show up sooner. 

He wasn’t sure when he started pining after the Colonel, but he was young. He had always greatly admired Mustang for his charisma and wit and bravery and strength. Though in his younger years he would have never admitted that. 

Ed genuinely hated Mustang for what he was and for what he made him feel. Butterflies in his stomach were simply signs of weakness to the younger state alchemist. He didn’t want to ever be accused of even attempting to be romantically or sexually interested in anyone. He had a mission, and that was to get his brother’s body back. He didn’t want that to be jeopardized by anyone, especially not by a man. 

He was supposed to be a success. A brave straight-laced- albeit slightly rebellious- successful hero who saved his brother. Who saved the world. 

Instead, cynical voices in his head made sure to remind him that all that was for not because his foolish mortal heart fell for a man. They told him that he was supposed to be with a girl, with someone like Winry. 

But instead, Alphonse fell for their childhood best friend, Ed’s loyal mechanic and Al’s caring nurse when he got his body back from the truth. They’re getting married in the spring. 

And Edward was happy for them, he truly was. But he couldn’t help but wonder what it might have been like to be the one to be getting married. To be fucking normal. 

He spent enough time being a spectacle with his missing limbs and freakish shortness. He spent enough time being the center of attention and speculation and scandal. 

But he’s in love with the current Fuhrer, a man almost twenty years his superior. 

A man who he knew since he was twelve. 

A man who treated him like a person, like a strong soldier, even at his most broken. Who never showed him pity, but pushed him to always do his best. Who supported him as best as he could. Who was always there for him when Ed truly needed him. 

If the whole situation didn’t make him feel like crying, Ed might just try to laugh off the stupid tragedy of it all. 

 

Hours upon hours of pouring over notes and books and every scientific paper dealing with the flowers that he could get his hands on yielded nothing. 

It all said the same thing. You had to remove the flowers if you wanted to survive, if you choose to avoid confessing- a rejection just lead to a quicker death. The removal of the flowers was a removal of love. Pushing away that chosen person who you obviously so loved. 

Removing the flowers causes complete apathy of the holder of the flowers. And Ed just knew that he wouldn’t be able to deal with that. He spent so many years of his life admiring and hating and caring for the Flame alchemist… to remove that would be to remove vast chunks of his personality. Vast swathes of what made him Edward Elric. 

So he couldn’t just remove the flowers from his lungs. He knew that Al would say that he was just being a prideful fool. 

So he just didn’t tell Al.

 

Keeping secrets from people you’ve known your whole life is a difficult task. Especially when that secret is the fact that every time you cough a whole bouquet of flowers springs forward from your lungs. 

Ed tries to stay as far away from Winry’s shop as long as he can. And that works for around a month. However, of course, his automail leg begins to act up. Too many storms and not enough oil. Or perhaps the roots of the flowers have begun to destroy the very metal he walks on. 

That probably wasn’t the case but the thought worried Ed nonetheless.

 

“Edward Elric! Have you been doing no maintenance on your leg? Some parts have completely rusted!” Winry was pissed. That much was obvious and at this point, Ed was honestly just glad that she had yet to grab a wrench and use it as a battle hammer on his face. 

If he had to guess, Al may have managed to calm her down- 

“Brother! You idiot, you’ve been staying up all night again haven't you! You need your sleep or else you’re going to get sick! Brother, are you even listening to me? And why are you so thin? Have you been eating? Did you forget to eat again!” 

Al was also pissed apparently. Ed was honestly surprised that the two lovebirds hadn’t ripped his face off yet. Well, that would be kind of out of character for Al, but Winry was being shockingly gentle. Nothing metal had been thrown at him yet. 

A breeze whipped his hair as hammer narrowly missed his face. 

There it was. 

“Take better care of your automail! Now I gotta sit here for hours cleaning it out.” 

Ed’s eyes widened. Not that the flowers were bad today or anything, but he was already on edge from being here a few minutes. An hour would be hell. But hours? To hold in his cough and avoid any sort of detection? 

“It can’t be that bad right? I mean, I can always clean it-

“And risk you screwing up my beautiful automail even further?” Winry looked like she was about to start throwing things again.

Ed looked pleadingly at Al, but he little brother just shook his head in disapproval, “Ed, you seriously need to get some good food in you. Something that actually has calories. I can make up some stew while you get your leg cleaned up, okay?”

This was a fight that Ed knew he wasn’t about to win so he just sat farther back in his chair and propped his leg up. Trying to get as comfortable as he could with as little pressure on his lungs as possible. 

The first hour passed by with no problem. Winry got his foot done, which was the most intricate part due to all the hinges and ball bearings. 

Second hour and his lower leg and knee had been wiped down and cleaned out, now they sparkled in the shop light overhead. His lungs had a building pressure, but he could last until the end of the cleaning. 

The third hour dragged by at a snail's pace. 

Halfway through he felt petals creep up his throat and he refused to panic. He refused to relent to the stupid flowers and cough. 

But the more time went on the more petals lodged themselves in his trachea. 

The more he felt like his chest was about to burst. 

Winry leaned back and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. She gave Ed a bright smile, beaming with pride at her handy work, “Alright Ed, I think you’re good to-”

He was halfway to the bathroom door by the time she finished- or almost finished- her sentence. He slammed the door shut, locked the door, and turned on the water to block out the retching. 

He hugged the toilet as he coughed and threw up the thick petals along with all the contents of his breakfast. The roof of his mouth burned and his nose and eyes watered. 

He started dry heaving when his stomach was empty, petals falling with a cruel softness into the water. 

Ed sat back, breathing becoming more labored, small wheezes escaping his lips. He hugged his knees to his chest and fought off tears that threatened to run down his cheeks. 

There was a soft knocking at the door. 

“Ed… are you okay?”

It was Winry, genuine concern making itself so incredibly and painfully obvious in her gentle yet hesitant tone. “Did… did I scrape a nerve while I was cleaning?” She continued, more talking to herself than to him. “Ed… Ed, I’m so sorry, you should have told me if I did! Is your leg okay? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Winry.” The strong steely voice he was hoping for turned out to be a forced whisper. His larynx currently shot and aching. 

“Do you need any help in there? I can-”

“I said I’m fine.” Ed didn’t mean to snap but if she forced her way in then that would be the end of… of what exactly? She would get him a doctor who could remove the flowers and would that honestly be so bad? He could breathe again and try to settle down with some nice girl from the country and just forget the man in uniform that haunted his dreams and deepest fantasies. 

He could get married and have kids and not fuck up the country further by creating some stupid scandal with the Fuhrer. 

He could but deep down he knew that was never an option. He knew that this was his burden to bear and he could take that with pride. He would hold his head high to the grave and he refused to give up and admit defeat, even if his adversary was to an illness. \

His mom didn’t do that. 

She stayed strong to the bitter end and he would follow her path loyally. 

 

Dinner was quiet and relatively uneventful. Though Winry kept shooting Ed worried looks when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. But she said nothing about the bathroom incident and for that Ed was grateful. 

The food was amazing, Al had somehow managed to steal the recipes from Pinako and begun making his own meals. He had once commented that he just started cooking because he didn’t like being waited on, and then he learned that he really loved the craft. He had taken to baking cookies and pies that he regularly brought to Ed’s workshop whenever he thought his brother needed a morale boost. 

Al was over a lot these days. 

Towards the end of the meal, Al started going on and on about the stray kittens he rescued from the side of the road. There were five in total, Whiskers, Sugar, Happy, Bean, and Squishy. The way Al was talking about them made them seem like they were children. Ed thought it was silly but sweet. His brother turned out to be a caring man despite the shit hand he was dealt. 

“Would you like to meet them?” Al was smiling, his eyes lighting up, he seriously wanted Ed to come see the little bundles of joy that came equipped with claws. 

“I don’t know…” Ed said with a sort of mock-irritation. 

Winry gently grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his seat, grinning broadly, “Come on, you’ll love them!”

He allowed himself to be drug into the garage and there, in an old box layered with rags and used shirts were five of the most ridiculously adorable kittens he ever laid his eyes on. They all looked like fluff balls with huge saucer-like eyes that somehow weren’t terrifying for being so disproportionate.

Al scooped up a solid black one, “This here is Bean!” 

Without any other sort of precursor, Al handed Bean to Ed. 

Unsure of what exactly to do, he held the small cat at arm’s length, hands hooked under the tiny things armpits. “Um… hello there.”

Al chuckled, “Brother, you’re holding her wrong.”

Ed balked, “H-how the hell am I supposed to hold her?” 

 

At the end of the night, Ed was adequately covered in a mountain of sleeping kittens. From his current perspective, he might just be able to see why Alphonse thinks that they’re so cute… they were really cute. 

Later, Sugar had decided to lay on his face and that didn’t exactly make it possible to breathe- the attempted murder reminded Ed of why he hasn't always been the biggest fan of cats. Upon realizing there was crime afoot, Winry and Al rescued Ed from the fiend along with relieving him of the rest of the meowtain. 

Ed didn’t know if he’d ever manage to get the cat hair out of his mouth. That thought definitely disgusted him, but one more glance at the small bundles of fur made it kind of worth it. 

Even if it was super gross. 

 

Winry sent Ed home with a small box of chocolate chips, “Don’t be a stranger okay?” 

Ed rolled his eyes playfully, “You know where I live.”

“You know where we live.”

“Touche.” 

Al popped his head out of the door, directly above Winry, “Have a good night, brother!” 

Ed waved as he walked away, “Night!”

 

After the dinner with Al and Winry, Ed couldn’t sleep. He kept having terrible coughing fits and besides, he had enough experience with insomnia that he knew that tonight was going to be a struggle, even if he was perfectly healthy. 

He decided to write a letter to them. Giving them his blessing for their marriage. Telling Al that he loved him, telling Winry that she was his best friend. 

It explained what happened. Explain why it happened. Just in case something were to happen. 

When it happened.

Ed was deeply upset by the fact that he had decided to keep his ailment a secret, but they would be okay. To involve them would just be selfish and needlessly cruel. 

He knew that he was going to die without that surgery. 

Without confronting Mustang about his little predicament. 

Ed thought about going to Central plenty of times. Giving the bastard one final message. He thought about telling his older superior how he felt. How with one glance he set fires in Ed’s heart brighter than the sun itself. How Ed had decided that he loved him more than life itself. 

But he couldn’t. By now, Mustang had a whole country to run. He had to worry about war threats and peace treaties with the Ishvalans. He had to prove the newfound loyalty of the government to her people. He had to prove to the world that Central was once again a safe melting pot for everyone. 

Besides, he has probably hooked up with Hawkeye already and Ed felt no need to be a good for nothing homewrecker. 

They were a good fit. They were strong and confident and they were soldiers. They served at each other’s side for years in the desert. For many more in civilian life. 

Hawkeye was wise and beautiful and slightly terrifying and everything Ed figured a man like Mustang would want. And why wouldn’t he?

And even if didn’t, the flame alchemist was a playboy. He was now the most powerful man in the country and he could have any woman he wanted in all of Amestris wrapped around his finger. 

So why would he ever settle for someone like Ed? Someone with so many internal and emotional scars. Someone with a missing leg. Someone so much younger and inexperienced. 

Put that on top of the fact that Mustang only liked chicks? 

Ed had a snowball’s chance in hell. 

 

Two months down. 

The coughing fits have been getting worse and worse. The blue of the hyacinths has become increasingly overrun by crimson blood. 

He can feel the poison in his lungs eating away at the lining of his throat. He suffered from consistent headaches and abdominal pain. His limbs felt heavy like they were filled with sand or bricks or some other stupid simile for a weight. 

All those were symptoms of the oxalic acid. Of course they were. 

A self-administered cardiogram showed that his heart had an arrhythmia, meaning that the disease had definitely progressed faster than he thought that it would.

 

As per usual, it was late at night. He’s been up for… he doesn’t know how long anymore. He kept downing coffee as fast as he could drink it. 

He felt sick to his stomach so he laid down. His bed was almost completely covered in books and research papers but he didn’t care. He roughly shoved the documents to the floor to make room. 

In bed, he began coughing but he didn’t care enough to get something to clean up the flowers. Everything was tipping and blurry so he just decided to close his eyes.

 

He woke up to Al shaking his shoulder roughly, “Ed! Edward! Are you okay?”

“What is it, Al…” Ed’s voice is rough, both from sleep in the coughing fits earli-

He hadn’t cleaned up. A quick glance around his room revealed bloody blue flowers everywhere. There was no way to explain this. 

Al looked like he’d been crying, “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you trust me to help you get this fixed? I could have gone with you to Central a month ago you idiot!”

“How… how do you know about…”

“Hawkeye just called. It’s Mustang, he…. He…” 

 

Ed could hardly believe what Al had told him. 

He couldn’t believe it. 

To think that Mustang felt the same way…

It was impossible.

And yet here he was. Right outside of the Fuhrer’s two-story townhouse. 

 

The past few hours on the train went by in a blur. He was in shock the entire time, thinking about what he was told. The news that Hawkeye herself had desperately tried to get to him. 

The news she had to call Winry for because of course, she didn’t have Ed’s number. 

Winry was pissed and sad and scared, her emotions mirrored perfectly on Al’s face. Though his brother’s face was more disappointed, a solemn look that asked louder than words ever could of why Ed never told him. Why Ed didn’t trust him enough to tell him. 

And Ed was so sorry, but he didn’t have time to apologize, he was needed in Central. He had a very special meeting with the Fuhrer himself. 

 

The train ride gave Ed plenty of time to think of the man he loved so dearly. The man. The brave human with the strongest soul of anyone he knew. The soldier who risked his life time and time again to do what was right. To save his men.

How could Ed not be attracted to that? 

To that bravery and compassion and selflessness. Mustang seemed like a pig and a total dick sometimes, but he wasn’t. He had a dark past but that did not define who he was now. And Ed could relate to that better than anyone else. 

Ed knew that he loved him when he came stumbling and blind from the arms of the truth. His heart had broken like it had for no one else when he learned of Roy’s condition. The Colonel at the times was so confused, so obviously scared, that Ed felt the need to protect him from the monsters that lurked in the darkness. 

Even after the flame alchemist had his sight returned to him, Ed still felt that protective urge. But he couldn’t follow that feeling. Not then. 

But now he could. 

 

Ed stared at the small hyacinth clutched in his hand. 

The blue flower looked like it was on fire. The setting sun casting the world in long shadows and orange light. 

Ed took a deep breath and, before he could lose his courage, he pounded on the front doors. 

No answer. 

He knocked harder. 

Harder. 

Then the door was pulled open suddenly and Ed’s breath hitched but he could breathe just fine, he felt no petals in his lungs. 

There Roy stood, dressed in plain dark gray pants and a half ways unbuttoned work shirt. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was mused, flopping in his eyes. 

Ed had never seen anything more beautiful. 

He watches Mustang’s confusion and guilt and relief and awe all unwrap on his face as he stares at the small bloodied flower in Ed’s hand. Roy looks like he’s about to say something but instead he grabs Ed’s collar and yanks him into the house.

Ed’s honestly very impressed with himself over the fact that he managed to close the door. 

Good thing too, his mind practically melted as Roy’s lips were suddenly on his. He wrapped his arms around Mustang’s shoulders and deepened it exploring farther, never feeling anything more solidly right in his life. 

 

Later, wrapped in silken sheets and the strong toned arms of the man he loved, he felt the bed slightly shake as Roy started to laugh. Ed smiled and looked at his lover questioningly. 

Roy brushed some of Ed’s golden hair away from his eyes. “What fools we’ve been.” 

Ed started to laugh with him before pulling him in for another loving kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Why yes, I did just write in the kittens so I could 1.) have a cute scene instead of your regularly scheduled angst and 2.) so I could give you all a wonderfully awful pun (the meowtain) >:3c  
> Thank you so much for reading this, and a huge thank you to everyone who encouraged me to create a follow up to Ulex, your kind words helped inspire me to finish this thing :D


End file.
